Secrets
by JamieP
Summary: C&M----chapter 7 up! please review, comments and criticism's welcomed :)
1. Prelude

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*Moscow, 1990*

Chandler walked quickly through the unfamiliar streets of Moscow. He was sweating despite the sharp wind that was hitting his face as he walked. It wasn't easy trying to follow in the footsteps of a legendbut he had to nonetheless. He wasn't even sure if he wanted this life for himself; hell, he was only 20. He remembered wanting to be a doctor when he was little, but he didn't really have much choice now. He was already on his way, his first assignment. While he walked, Chandler could feel the rage inside him build. What was he thinking? He couldn't do this. He was continuing a job, a lifestyle that had torn his family apart. Why was he doing this? Chandler silently cursed the answer that had immediately come to his mind, because he was good at it. His grandfather had been good at it, his father had been good at it, his brother was good at it, and Chandler was sure his sister would have been good at it if. Chandler tried not to think of the "ifs" that constantly tortured his life. Chandler finally reached his destination, The Regency Hotel. He walked in while quietly going over the plan in his head.

****

*New York, 8 Years Later*

"I'm telling you Joey, one of these days you're family is going to figure it out, they're not stupid" Chandler said as he and his friend and co-worker Joey entered the all too familiar building. 

"Aw come on Chandler, have you met my family? For all they know, I've been working temp for the past two years. Besides, even if they were to find out, I'd just have to go ahead with the policy plan."

"You'd actually go through with that?" Chandler asked as he stopped in the middle of the entryway, somewhat shocked at his friend's easy-going attitude about the subject.

"Im not saying it would be easy, but I would do it. I've been doing this too long to back out now, I know too much. If I were to just walk away, I would probably end up dead before a year could get by." Chandler nodded sadly at the truth behind his friend's statement as they continued to the elevators. "Besides," Joey continued, "I couldn't put them in harms way like that, and if that means I have to give them up, well.so be it." Chandler remained silent as memories of what had become of his family flooded his mind. 

Chandler and Joey entered the same elevator that they entered every day, the third from the right, and punched the code into the number pad. The elevator hummed as it took them to the first of a series of underground floors that not many knew existed. They went through the routine security checks that consisted of an eye scan, fingerprint checks, and a vocal submission of their 6-letter password. "442730" Chandler said mechanically after being asked by the computer, the memories of his past still lingering in the back of his mind. Once they were cleared, Joey and Chandler continued through the thick lead doors into the entrance hallway and continued to their offices as they walked over the emblem that covered the marble floor. Chandler looked at it as he did everyday when he walked over it. "ARES -The Last Line of Defense" Chandler read to himself, it had been a trademark term he had been familiar with since he was a child. A name and phrase that he had grown up resenting despite the fact that he knew he would end up working to enforce and instill it. Chandler silently parted ways with Joey and walked into his office closing the door behind him. 


	2. An Unwanted Past

****

*New York, 1994*

Chandler sat in his office researching his previous case when his chief supervisor, Mr. Kinson, entered his office.

"Something I can do for you, sir?" Chandler asked. 

"Yes there is, actually.our replacement for Henderson just showed up. I was wondering if you would show him the ropes, give him a tour?"

"I didn't know we would be replacing Henderson" Chandler replied thinking of Mark Henderson's untimely death.it seemed all too familiar for Chandler. Chandler and Mark had been on assignment together in Bangkok. Chandler let his mind wander back to that day. Their team had met in the lobby of the hotel, all they had to do was get the target's laptop and replace it with a decoy. Chandler and Mark were sent to do the job while the rest of the team waited in the van outside where they had set up a control center. Something went wrong, they had been told that the hotel room would be empty, it wasn't. When they broke in they were surprised to find three men sitting around the bar. Within seconds guns were pulled in all different directions. Chandler couldn't remember who fired first, but by the end of the shoot out all five of the men ended up shot. Two of the other men where shot dead, the third shot in the leg. Chandler had been shot in the arm and Mark in the chest. Mark had died on the way to the hospital. The reason why Chandler was notorious for being such a good agent was because despite the wound to the arm and the loss of a team member, he went back that night and got the assignment done.

Mr. Kinson noticed the uneasiness in Chandler's voice and regretted telling him that the new guy was Henderson's replacement. "Well, you two will be working together on the next case, just thought you might like a chance to introduce yourself," Mr. Kinson continued.

"Yeah, sure," Chandler agreed. "Where is he?"

"He's sitting out in the entry hallway," Mr. Kinson informed him before leaving Chandler's office. It was a shame, Doug Kinson had had his share of losses working with the agency, but none hit quite as close to home as Chandler's had. He wondered if that was what made him such a good agent, the fact that Chandler Bing had nothing left to lose.he brushed the thoughts of Chandler's history away and continued back to his office.

*****

Chandler found Henderson's replacement sitting in the hallway where Mr. Kinson said he would be. The man, in his mid-twenties, stood as soon as he saw Chandler approach him. Chandler quickly extended his hand and introduced himself, "Hello, my name's Chandler Bing," he introduced himself politely.

"Hey, I'm Joseph Tribbiani.," Joey replied. When his former boss back at the CIA had told him they had something exciting in store for him, Joey had no idea that he would be getting himself wrapped into an underground agency. 

"So, I see you got through security in one piece," Chandler tried to joke, "how about a tour?"

"Yeah, sure," Joey replied following Chandler through the entry hallway and into the main corridor. "So," Joey began, "what is it you do here?"

"I'm a fifth rank agent here at ARES, basicallyI just do what they tell me to." Chandler replied, trying not to give too much away to a stranger.

"Say, what does that stand for anyway, ARES?" Joey asked, he had just learned of this secret agency, and had not really been given any background information on the agency yet. 

"Well, it doesn't stand for anything really," Chandler started as they continued towards the main conference rooms, "Ares was the Greek God of war, the Greeks feared him, the Romans celebrated him. After several embarrassing losses in the War of 1812, General Jackson and the Secretary of State designed and set up an agency that could protect the United States from foreign enemies through intelligence. Not even congress knows we exist. We operate solely on the orders of the President and The Secretary of State, however, sometimes they don't even know what we're doing." Chandler watched Joseph's face as he opened the door that led into the main conference room.

Chandler had given Joey the grand tour, he had seen four out of the five underground floors of the agency, and when he had asked about the fifth Chandler had told him that a secret agency needed to have some secrets of its own sometimes. Joey didn't really know what to make of it all. He suddenly felt somewhat uneasy, maybe taking this job wasn't such a good idea. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of all the secrecy involved. "How do you do it?" Joey asked.

"Do what?" Chandler asked him, unsure of what he was looking for.

"Well, I mean, what about your family and stuff? How do you manage to keep it a secret from them? And what are you supposed to do if they find out?"

"Uh, well there is a policy plan, where if family and friends do figure it out there are several ways the agency can take you off the map. Or you always have the option of quitting." Chandler informed him.

"What do you mean "take you off the map", like they fake your death for you?" Joey asked.

"Well, yes, but its only to keep your family safe. Of course you don't HAVE to follow the policy plan, it's only an option. Or, like I said, you could quit." 

"What about your family, do they know?" Joey asked.

Chandler immediately looked down at his shoes, unaware that it was something he often did when he was uncomfortable, "I don't really have much of a family," Chandler replied after several seconds.

"Oh," Joey said, not really understanding, "are you an orphan?"  
"No, my family is dead," Chandler replied.

"All of them?!" Joey questioned, not realizing how uncomfortable Chandler really was.

"Yeah, look.can we talk about something else?" Chandler asked, noticing Joey's eagerness to find out the details.

"Oh, yeah sure, no problem." Joey said, suddenly feeling awkward again, "so does the cafeteria here have any good food?" he asked.

"Yeah," Chandler laughed as they headed to Joey's new office, "good sandwiches."

"Really?"

*****

As Chandler headed back to his small apartment in the village he let his mind wander to the place he normally avoided. His family. Chandler's father was one of few who ignored the ARES policy plan and was open with his family about his job. Probably because he hoped one day that both of his boy's would follow in his footsteps as he had with his father. His mother often worried about their safety, but paranoia and caution was something that the family had grown accustomed to. Chandler's older brother, Troy, had been eager to become an agent for as long as Chandler could remember. His younger sister, Tara, had wanted to become the first woman agent to work for ARES. He could remember her disappointment when ARES had let on the first woman agent in 1986. His father had been good, the best, he was often told. During his career alone, Chandler's father had successfully completed twenty-two assassinations and had helped in uncovering several major international and foreign plots and secret affairs. "All in a days work" his father used to say. Chandler used to think that he wanted to do this, to become an agent like his father and grandfather. Then it happened. Something went wrong, Chandler didn't even know the full details now.he didn't want to know, he wanted to avoid thinking about it at all costs. It was August, 1987nobody saw it coming, not even his father. Chandler woke up to the sound of their family's security system going off. His father wasn't stupid, he knew that there was always a possibility that they would find them. That's why they had the security system, that's why they had a plan to meet in the guestroom if it were ever to go off. Chandler raced out of his room and met up with his brother in the hall, they ran to their sister's room to find that Tara was already gone. They raced to the guestroom and met up with their parents and their sister there. From there it was through the window and straight to the car. Once they were all safely out the window they quietly headed to the car in the garage. Then Chandler heard it, the gunshots.he looked back and saw his father fall. He saw his mother scream as she quickly picked up Tara and began to run, two more gunshots and she fell to the ground. Chandler ran back for his sister, he had to pull his mother's dead body off of her only to find that the second bullet had lodged itself in Tara's neck. That's when he saw the headlights, he figured that this was it, they were going to finish him off by running him down, but the car quickly slowed down and the passenger door popped open. He looked in and saw his brother Troy behind the wheel, yelling at him to jump in. Chandler didn't hesitate and practically flew into the car as his brother sped away with Chandler's legs sticking out the open door, gunshots ringing behind them. From there they went to the only place they knew they would be safe, the agency. The agency had set Troy and Chandler up with a small apartment in the city. Troy immediately was offered a job while Chandler was to finish high school. His brother was good, maybe too good. Troy grew cocky, a bad quality in an agent. Within two years he was dead, shot down in Dubai. Chandler was by himself. The agency made him get his associates degree before letting him join, cautious after letting his brother join at such a young age. At his brother's funeral Chandler made a promise to himself. He decided that he would never fall in love, he couldn't bear to watch another family die. As Chandler absentmindedly headed for his apartment he bumped into someone and knocked whatever it was they were carrying out of their hands. "Sorry," Chandler mumbled as he bent down to pick up the fallen papers.

"oh that's okay, I wasn't paying any attention," replied the voice.

Chandler looked up and saw the most beautiful pair of blue eyes he had ever seen in his life.

"Hi. I'm Monica Gellar, I just moved in here. I live in apartment 20.

"Oh, I guess I live right across the hall from you then, my name's Chandler," Chandler said as he extended his hand, trying to get a better look at her eyes without looking like a creep.

"Well, its nice to meet you.I guess I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Chandler said as he watched her walk away. There was something about her that caught his attention, everything about her caught his attention. He shook his head as he headed to his apartment and closed the door behind him. 


	3. The Intruder

****

*New York, 1998*

Chandler and Joey sat in Chandler's apartment watching the Nicks game on TV. Chandler and Joey had become pretty good friends over the past two years, and they often got together after work to relax. 

"Come on man, I'm not asking you to make a commitment to this girl or anything, its just a double date, Kerry said she wouldn't go out with me unless I could find a date for her friend, so pleaaassse?" Joey whined.

Chandler just shook his head. Joey had been bugging Chandler to go on a date since Chandler had confided in Joey that he hadn't been on a date since high school. "Joey, I told you, I don't date, and you know why I don't date, so pleaaaassse don't bug me about it"

"Alright, alright, I just think you should." Joey was interrupted by a series of knocks on the door, "you expecting company?"

"Yeah, the pope and the president said they'd stop by" Chandler replied sarcastically as he got up to answer the door. He pulled open the door and saw Monica standing on the other side. "Oh, hey Monica, come on in," Chandler said.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company," she said noticing Joey out of the corner of her eye, "I was just wondering if you had any milk.I'm making lasagna and I didn't want to have to run to the market," 

"Oh yeah, sure, take whatever you need," Chandler said motioning to the refrigerator. Joey stood up and cleared his throat audibly, "Monica, this is Joey, Joey, Monica" Chandler said rolling his eyes at Joey.

"Hey, how you doin'?" Joey asked.

"I'm okay, ummmthanks for the milk Chandler, I'll see you later," Monica said, feeling somewhat uncomfortable by Chandler's friend.

"See ya, Mon" Chandler said closing the door behind her.

"Now why don't you date her?" Joey began questioning, "Shes hot!" 

"Thanks Joe, I'm not blind," Chandler said returning to the couch, "Monica is just a neighbor, a friend"

"Come on man, I saw the way you were looking at her," Joey said nudging Chandler as he took his seat in the other chair. "Is she single?"

"I don't know Joey," Chandler replied somewhat annoyed, "I told you, she's just a friend, It's not like I know every intimate detail about her life, and I don't want to either"

"Alright, I'll quit bugging you," Joey replied finally giving in. He couldn't help but feel bad for Chandler. He had heard all the rumors at work about his family being killed by an underground Serbian government known as the Black Glove. Him and Chandler had been friends for four years and Chandler had only once confided in him about what had happened. Joey knew that Chandler was worried about getting involved with someone and in turn putting their life at risk. But Joey couldn't help but wonder how he did it, sure, Joey had the same worries that Chandler did, but that didn't stop him from looking around for a future. 

*****

It was 1:00 in the morning and Chandler had just returned from assignment in Rio De Janeiro. They had almost gotten caught at a formal dinner party where Chandler was supposed to tap into and download the files from a computer. Security had almost caught up with him and Chandler was forced to escape from a fourth floor window in a $20,000 tux. Chandler shook off his close call and collapsed into his bed without even climbing underneath the covers. He fell into a deep sleep and woke up with a shock to the sounds of screaming. He looked around him and saw that it was 3:00am. Then he heard it again, the screams, they were coming from outside his apartment. Chandler got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. He went to his sock drawer and grabbed his small pistol, and then proceeded to his front door. When he got outside his apartment he waited, listening for more screams. That's when he noticed that Monica's apartment door was slightly ajar. He knocked on it quietly before entering. "Monica." He called quietly. He looked around and noticed that her bedroom door was open. He slowly made his way over to her bedroom while keeping one hand on the gun hidden in his pants. He called again, "Monica, are you okay?" He heard a muffled cry from her room and as he peered in what he saw made his blood boil. There was a man on top of Monica, and she didn't seem too happy about it. That's when Chandler noticed that the man was holding a knife to Monica's throat while he forced himself on top of her. The intruder was too busy ripping Monica's clothes off of her to notice Chandler's entrance. Monica's eyes pleaded with Chandler to help her. Chandler ran two steps and then lunged, knocking the intruder off Monica and tackling him to the floor. Monica didn't even take a second to recover before running for the phone in the living room. Chandler and the man struggled for almost five minutes before Chandler was able to gain an advantage and managed to knock the knife free. When Chandler had the intruder pinned he let his emotions get the better of him for a few minutes and unleashed his pent up rage. He finally stopped when he felt Monica tugging on him from behind, he hadn't even noticed that she had been screaming for him to stop. He quickly pushed himself away from the now bloody intruder who lay motionless on the floor. Chandler and Monica just stood there for several seconds, not knowing what to say or do next. "Are you okay?" Chandler asked after regaining some composure.

Monica nodded slowly, "Yeah, I think so, you came just in time."

They stood there for several more moments until they heard a loud knocking on the already open door. The police rushed into the room and Monica quickly began explaining what had happened. The first police officer called for an ambulance after noticing the condition of the intruder. "Is heis he dead?" Monica asked as she watched the officers checked for a pulse. 

"Nope, still kickin'" the second officer replied, "sure did get the shit knocked out of him though, you did this?" he asked looking at Chandler.

"Uh, yeahwe got into a struggle," Chandler replied quietly.

"He saved me," Monica added quickly, "If he hadn't come in when he did, I don't know what would have happened," she said while looking at Chandler.

"Well don't worry, this will all probably get filed under self-defense," the first officer informed them. The officers asked several more questions before the paramedics arrived and loaded the now somewhat conscious intruder onto a gurney. After checking to make sure Monica was okay the paramedics suggested she go to the hospital anyway, at least to talk to an on call therapist. Monica refused; repeating several times that she would be all right. With that the paramedics left with the officers close behind. "We'll give you a call tomorrow, try and get some sleep," the first officer said before leaving. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Chandler asked again once the officers and the paramedics had left.

"Yeah, just a little shaken up," Monica replied, pulling her arms around herself as if she were cold. They stood there for a couple more seconds in an awkward silence. All of the emotions of the night suddenly surfaced and Monica began sobbing. Chandler, caught off guard, was somewhat unsure of what to do. He slowly made his way towards her, carefully wrapping his arms around her. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, after nearly being raped, but Monica didn't pull away. Chandler was surprised when she hugged back, sobbing into his chest. After several moments Monica pulled away, "I'm sorry," she said somewhat embarrassed, "I guess I'm just a little more shaken up than I thought I was,"

"Oh, hey, don't be sorry," Chandler replied sympathetically. He wished there were something he could say to make her feel better. "Listen," he began, "If you want to stay at my place tonight you can, I don't mind taking the couch," 

"Yeah, thanks," Monica said wiping the tears from her eyes, "not that I'll be able to sleep tonight anyway, but staying here tonight is probably not such a great idea." 

"Yeah, of course," Chandler said nodding his head.

"Just, umm, let me get together a couple of things," Monica said as she moved to grab some clothes for the morning and her pillow. When Monica had gathered the things that she needed Chandler led her back to his place. Once they were over there Monica helped Chandler change his sheets and set up his bed on the couch. "Thanks Chandler," Monica said while helping him set up the couch.

"Oh, hey, no problem" Chandler said while tossing his pillow onto the couch.

"No, I mean thanks for saving me tonight, I don't think I've thanked you for that yet, so thanks." Monica said as she moved in to give him another hug.

Chandler wrapped his arms around her for the second time that night, enjoying the way his arms seemed to fit around her. 

Monica let herself relax into his arms, she liked the sense of security he provided. She suddenly pulled back surprised, "Oh my god! Chandler, you're bleeding!" 

"What?" he asked, somewhat confused after being pulled out of a comfortable daze. He looked down to area on his abdomen that Monica was now inspecting and noticed that he was indeed bleeding. "Must have got me with his knife," he mumbled as he went to his bathroom and grabbed a towel. 

"Oh my god, Chandler, I am so sorry," Monica said following him, "do you have a first aid kit?" she asked as she watched him wet the towel.

"Oh yeah, its underneath the sink in the kitchen." Chandler replied as he watched Monica look on with worry. He moved to his chair in the living room and applied the wet towel to the wound. 

Monica quickly grabbed the first aid kit and hurried back to the chair where he was now seated. "I'm so so sorry," she said again.

"Don't be," Chandler replied with a chuckle, "It's just a flesh wound," he noted as he lifted the towel to show her. "See, not too bad." 

Monica inspected the wound as she pulled bandage and alcohol. "Well, I don't care how bad it is or isn't, I'm still sorry," she said as she rubbed the blood away.

"Monica, really, it's okay," Chandler said. He had suffered worse before, but of course he couldn't tell Monica that. "Don't worry," he said noticing how cute she was when she was worried, "I think I'll live."

"There," Monica said putting the bandage on, "all done, are you sure your okay?" she asked him again.

"Monica, I swear, I'm fine." Chandler assured her, "are you gonna be okay?" he asked, still concerned about the ordeal she had just gone through.

"Yeah," she said standing up, "I'll be fine. If you're sure you're okay, I think I'm going to try and sleep," she added.

" Yeah, I'm okay," Chandler said standing up also.

"Thanks again, Chandler," Monica said. She moved in to hug him one last time, not being able to help the way he made her want more. The hug seemed to last forever, neither of them wanting to let go, but when it finally did end both felt it had ended too soon. Chandler watched as Monica walked away towards his bedroom. He wanted so badly to follow, to hold her and tell her that it would all be okay. They said goodnight one last time as Monica entered his bedroom and closed the door behind her. 


	4. Unexpected Changes

****

*New York, 1998*

When Monica finally was able to get to sleep it was a restless one. She woke up to the sound of voices outside Chandler's bedroom. She looked at the clock, 8:00am. She rolled out of bed and went into the living room where she found Chandler and his friend from a few weeks earlier talking over coffee. 

"Oh, hey Mon.I hope me and Joey didn't wake you up" Chandler said as he noticed Monica enter the room.

"Oh no, don't worry about it, I was only half asleep anyway." Monica said as she went to poor herself a cup.

"Monica, I'm sorry about what happened last night, I hope you're alright," Joey offered his sympathy. 

"Yeah, thanks, I'm just a little shaken up," Monica said with a small smile.

"Uh, listen.Joey just stopped by to pick me up for work, but if you don't want to be by yourself I can stay behind today," Chandler offered, silently hoping she would say yes.

"Oh, noI couldn't ask you to do that," Monica said, "After all you've already done." 

"It's not like Chandler does much at work anyway," Joey said with a small smirk.

"Thanks Joe," Chandler said giving Joey a look, "No, really Monica, it wouldn't be a problem."

"Well, actually I think I'm just going to give my brother a call and see if I can stay with him until I find a place," Monica said thoughtfully.

"Oh, so you'll be moving then?" Chandler asked somewhat disappointed.

"Yeah, I just won't feel safe in that apartment anymore, ya know?" 

"Yeah, sure," Chandler said nodding his head in understanding.

"Well, Chandler, if we're gonna go, we should get going now," Joey said taking the final sips of his coffee.

"Uh, actually you go ahead Joe, I think I'm going to take the day off," Chandler said loosening his tie.

"But Chandler, we have that _thing_ today" Joey said raising his eyebrows, not wanting to mention in front of Monica their follow-up meeting that was scheduled that morning, standard procedure after any assignment. 

"Chandler, don't stay on my behalf, especially if you have something important to do." Monica said, not wanting Chandler to get in trouble at work just because of her.

"No Monica, it's okay, really. Besides," he said looking at Joey, "after that _thing_ that they had me do yesterday, when that _thing_ almost happened, they owe me. I'll just call in for the meeting." Chandler said, raising his eyebrows the same way Joey had. 

Joey just nodded his head, knowing he wasn't going to win this one with Chandler. It wasn't his problem if Chandler didn't want to show up for work. Besides, Chandler was right. Their assignment had almost gotten botched last night, and if it weren't for Chandler's quick thinking and unusual sense of enjoyment he got out of jumping from second story windows, then the agency would no doubt be in the middle of a lot of heat at that moment. "All right, suit yourself, I guess I'll talk to you during the meeting, I'll tell them to set up a conference line." Joey said, grabbing his briefcase.

"Thanks Joe, see ya later," Chandler said taking another sip of his coffee as he watched Joey exit the apartment with a final wave of his hand.

Monica waited until Joey left the apartment and was out of hearing-range, "Thanks Chandler," she said with a small smile.

"Oh, it's really not a big deal," he said, smiling back.

"Your friend seemed to think so," she said motioning to the door Joey had just exited from.

"Yeah, well, Joey thinks it's a big deal if they run out of paper crowns at Burger King," Chandler said with a small chuckle.

"So you two work together then?" Monica asked, taking another sip from the mug.

"Yeah, we've worked together for a couple of years now," Chandler replied.

"What is it that you do, anyway?" Monica asked.

"Uh." Chandler began, no one had ever asked him before, everyone he knew he knew from work, and they all knew what he did, "well.I work with this company." Chandler said, avoiding eye contact.

"You work with a company?" Monica asked a little amused, "what company?"

"Uh, that one company, in the building," Chandler said, stumbling for some sort of decent answer, "you know, with the computers,"

"So you work with computers?" Monica asked, wondering why he was so reluctant with the subject.

"Yes!" Chandler said triumphantly, that seemed like a normal job, "I work with computers, I.uh, I'm a data processor!" Chandler remembered one of the guys he went to college with had planned on being a data processor. Why he wanted to be one was above and beyond Chandler; it sounded like a boring job to him. Of course compared to Chandler's job, just about anything was boring.

"Oh, okay," Monica said with a small giggle, she wasn't quite sure why he was acting so weird, but it was almost cute.

"Yeah, so what do you do?" Chandler asked. Monica went on to tell Chandler that she was a chef at a small restaurant that Chandler had never heard of. They sat there the rest of the morning and talked about all the things they didn't already know about each other. When Monica asked about his family Chandler lied and said that he was an only child and that his parents had retired in Europe. Fortunately they didn't spend too much time talking about Chandler's family life. Chandler found it was really easy to talk to Monica. 

"Listen, Monica, you don't have to stay with your brother" Chandler started.'wait a minute,' he thought, 'what am I doing?' 

"What do you mean?" Monica asked

"Well, I don't mind you staying here, until you find a new place and everything," Chandler offered, 'what are you doing?!!' he asked himself again, Chandler knew he was only setting himself up for trouble. 

"Wow, umm.are you sure?" Monica asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I just figure it will be easier. I have the spare room and everything, so all you have to do is push the bed across the hall, ya know?" Chandler asked, attempting to make his offer sound more genuine in practicality. 

"Yeah, I suppose that would be easier." Monica said, nodding her head slowly. "But, I mean are you sure? I don't want to be a burden or anything." Monica said.

"No, really, it wouldn't be a problem, I was gonna start looking for a roommate anyway." Chandler added quickly.

"Well, I guess it could work out." Monica said, considering Chandler's offer. "I mean, it would only be until I found a new place." She added. "And I wasn't exactly looking forward to living with my brother again." 

"So, yeah?" Chandler asked

"Yeah, why not?" Monica said, feeling that this was probably the best and easiest option.

*****

"You asked her to move in with you!" Joey asked later that night in Chandler's apartment.

"Well, I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened." Chandler explained, somewhat frustrated with himself.

"Dude, you so want her!" Joey said. "Where is she now anyway?"

"She's at the police station filling out a report," Chandler explained. "And I don't want her, I just.I just, I don't know, she's nice." Chandler tried to explain.

"Chandler, you know its okay to have feelings for her, I mean they aren't going to come and get her just because you have a crush on her." Joey said, knowing that he had just crossed a line.

"Hey, you don't know what you're talking about, okay? You don't know what it's like." Chandler said, angry with Joey for even mentioning the subject.

"Chandler what we do is dangerous, not just for us, but for the people we care about too, but that doesn't mean we should stop caring about them." Joey started. "You're right, I don't know what it's like, to lose a family the way you did, but I do know what it's like to worry about the people I care about." Joey tried to reason.

"Still, Monica..she just..I don't want her to get involved." Chandler said.

"So you invited her to live with you?" Joey asked. "Listen Chandler, I think its pretty clear that you feel at least somewhat attracted to this woman, okay," Joey started.

"Joey, I don't." Chandler started to interrupt.

"I'm not finished," Joey said holding up his hand and silencing Chandler, "Like I said, its clear that you're attracted to her, and maybe that scares you a little bit. But Chandler, you cant live your life like this, if you like her, go for it." 

"And then what?" Chandler said standing up, "What happens if I start to care about her, huh?"

"I think you already do care about her," Joey said, also standing up. "And you know what? I think that scares you, not because you're afraid she'll get hurt, but because you're afraid you'll get hurt."

Chandler continued to stand as he contemplated Joey's words. Was he really afraid of something as simple as a relationship with a woman? He had managed to convince himself that the reason he didn't date was because he wouldn't be able to bare it if that girl got hurt, maybe that was apart of it, but maybe the real reason was that he couldn't bare it if he got hurt. Either way the situation sucked. 

"Listen, Chandler, I know you've been through a lot," Joey continued, watching Chandler think as he nervously ran his hand through his hair "but you can't let what happened then hinder your life now." 

"So what, am I just supposed to forget?" Chandler asked, his voice softer than normal.

"No, you don't forget, but remembering doesn't mean you have to let it rule your life." Joey said. For the first time Joey caught a small glimpse of the battle that Chandler fought with himself on a daily basis.

Before Chandler could respond Monica walked in the door. "Hey, how's it going?" She asked casually as she walked through the door.

"Hey Monica," Chandler greeted her, happy for the sudden interruption in the difficult conversation.

"So, Joey, did Chandler tell you I'm moving in?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, he briefly mentioned it," Joey said giving Chandler a look.

"What's going on?" Monica asked, noticing the looks Chandler and Joey were exchanging.

"Nothing, Joey's just." Chandler paused, searching for an excuse, "hungry. Say listen, why don't we order a pizza?" Chandler suggested. 

"Umsure," Monica said. She noticed that Chandler and Joey always seemed to be hiding more than what was on the surface, but she wasn't sure what. She decided to ignore it, for now.

*****

That week Monica and Chandler were busy moving all of her furniture and necessities across the hall. Before Chandler knew it, his apartment had become their apartment. The practically empty spare room that had served as his "office" was now Monica's bedroom. They had gotten the last of her boxes that she didn't need packed away in storage and headed back to Chandler's apartment. It was a Saturday night and they had planned on going out afterwards, but they were both wiped after moving most of the big stuff that day, so they decided to stay in.

"Chandler, I can't thank you enough for letting me stay here until I find a place of my own," Monica said for about the hundredth time. 

"Really," Chandler started, "It's not a problem." Chandler gave her an up and down, she looked gorgeous, despite the fact that she was in jeans and a sweatshirt. Her hair was put up in a loose twist, and strands of hair fell against her face in just the right places. "Say, since we're not going out, how 'bout a drink?" Chandler asked, already moving to make himself some vodka and cranberry juice. 

"Sure, why not" Monica said. She needed something to relax, she was all tense after spending the last couple of days moving. 

"What's your poison?" Chandler asked.

"Scotch on the rocks with a twist," Monica replied. She was looking forward to living with Chandler, even if it was only temporary. There was something about the way he smiled at her, like he could see right to her soul. 

By eleven they were both loaded, each having more than their share of scotch, vodka, and beer. They were laughing hysterically at her brother's misfortune. Monica had told Chandler how her brother, Ross, had not only married a lesbian, but had gotten her pregnant right before she left him for her lesbian lover. Any other time Chandler would have felt bad for the guy, but at the moment he happened to think the situation was overly entertaining. He was lying across his chair and Monica was laying half on and half off the couch. He got up and went over to the couch and lay down right next to her. 

"See," Chandler explained, "that's why getting married is a bad idea,"

"It is?" Monica asked, looking over at him.

"Yeah, you never know what kind of skeletons somebody's got in the closet." He said sort of insightfully.

"Well, not everyone is secretly gay," Monica said giggling a little bit.

"No, well, I hope not.but still, you never know what somebody's hiding." Chandler said leaning in towards her, trying to make his point.

"So you're saying you never want to get married?" Monica asked, also leaning in.

"No, I don't think I would be very good in a marriage." Chandler said softly.

"And why is that?" Monica questioned.

"Well, everybody's got secrets to hide, even me." Chandler said looking into Monica's deep eyes.

"So you've got skeleton's in your closet too?" Monica said.

"Everybody does," Chandler said.

"Well, what if you fall in love?" Monica asked moving in a little bit closer, suddenly very aware of her pounding heart.

"Then I'm in trouble," Chandler said thinking that if they were any closer then she'd be able to hear is shallow breathing. That's when he decided that if he didn't kiss her he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips against hers. He took in her sweet scent and leaned back, searching her eyes for some sort of reaction. 

Monica didn't bother waiting for Chandler to move in a second time, she pushed him back and found his lips with hers. Monica could feel Chandler's tongue push inside her mouth and she gratefully accepted it. They sat there for many minutes that way, their lips entangled with one another. Finally Monica raised herself off of him and grabbed him by the hand as she started to lead him into her new bedroom. Chandler followed, eager to continue their kiss. As they undressed each other in the darkness Chandler began to speak in between kisses.

"You know this changes things," He said, his hands roaming her body beneath her sweatshirt.

"I hope so," Monica said while kissing his neck.

"Good," Chandler said after successfully removing her sweatshirt. He pulled back, taking her in, locking his eyes with hers. He leaned in and kissed her, softly this time, suddenly aware of how nervous he was. Monica wasn't as nervous and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer to her. Monica stopped quickly, only to close her bedroom door behind them.


	5. Something New

*****

Chandler's eyes slowly pulled open as the sound of his alarm began to filter through his head. He groaned as he blindly reached to hit it, when his hand didn't hit anything he sat up and quickly realized that he wasn't in his room. The beeping of his alarm clock was coming from his room, but he wasn't in his room. He moved his hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes tightly as he attempted the ease the throbbing. 'Oh God' he thought as he looked over at the sleeping form of Monica in his bed, it was quickly coming back to him now. 'No no no no no no,' he thought, 'I cant believe I did this,' he scolded himself. It wasn't that Chandler hadn't enjoyed the previous night, but now she was too close. 

As Chandler silently cursed himself Monica's eyes softly fluttered open. She quickly remembered what had happened. A small smile spread across her face as the night before flooded her memory. She looked over at Chandler who was looking around the room with an expression she couldn't read. "Hey," she said softly.

Monica's voice interrupted Chandler's thoughts as he looked over and saw that Monica had woken up, 'Oh God, she must hate me right now,' Chandler thought as he braced himself for what he presumed was going to be the end of the world, at least his. He was surprised to find a warm smile on he face, which instantly brought a smile to his face, despite his worry. "Hey," he replied, returning the smile. After several moments Chandler couldn't avoid his natural instinct to worry, and decided to question Monica on where they were. "So, last night was.." he trailed off.

"Amazing," Monica finished for him.

"Yeah, amazing," Chandler agreed. "So, what does that make us, I mean.where do we go from here?" Chandler questioned.

"Well," Monica began, "I know what I want, its just a matter of whether or not we want the same things," she said, not wanting to sound too enthusiastic if he didn't want to start a relationship. 

"Okay, well why don't you tell me what you want," Chandler said while his mind and his gut fought a silent battle.

"Well, I want to be able to do this again," Monica smiled suggestively, "but I'm no slut, so either we continue this in some sort of relationship, or we don't continue at all," Monica said.

Chandler silently contemplated his choices. His mind was screaming 'don't continue! For the love of God it's not worth it! C'mon, you're stronger than this, don't wimp out just because you have a crush on this girl!', His gut was yelling just as loudly, 'Last night was amazing, you know you want this! Don't let her get away 'cause with your luck you wont get another chance!', Chandler wandered between the two, his mind made the most sense, give it up and keep her and yourself safe. But his gut wouldn't let him give in that easily, but the more Chandler thought about it the more he realized it wasn't his gut saying all that stuff, it was his heart. Chandler hadn't heard from his heart in a while and the feeling was a little overwhelming. While his mind never had steered him wrong, Chandler couldn't ignore the warning from his heart along with the smile that lighted Monica's face. "I want to do this again too," he said running his hand up her arm, "on a regular basis, I'm thinkin' at least once a day," he said with a light chuckle.

"Well aren't we ambitious," Monica said. She had been worried for a second that he would say he didn't want a relationship, it had taken him longer to answer than she expected. But she had been reassured beyond any doubt when he gave her his winning smile and ran his hand up her arm. 

*****

"Joey, what am I gonna do?" Chandler questioned almost frantically as he explained the situation to Joey. It was later in the afternoon and Chandler and Joey were in the cafeteria in the agency.

"What you mean, I thought you wanted to date her, was she not good in the sak?" Joey questioned, not really understanding the problem.

"No, no it wasn't that," Chandler assured Joey, "It's just, you know, now we're involved." Chandler said, as if those words would clearly express his point.

"Sooo?" Joey asked, still not understanding.

"So," Chandler answered, "So, at least when I had a crush on her it was harmless, now we're dating, and it's not so harmless anymore." 

"This again?" Joey asked somewhat exasperated. "Listen, Chandler, if you didn't want to date her then why did you agree to in the first place?"

"It's not that I didn't want to, I did want to, I still want to," Chandler defended himself, "It's just, I mean what if something happens?" he asked.

"Oh my God!" Joey exclaimed extremely frustrated, "'what if something happens?'," Joey imitated Chandler in a whiney voice. "What if you actually just _try_ being happy for once?" Joey challenged.

"What are you talking about?" Chandler questioned somewhat offended, "I am happy!" 

"Really Chandler, you've been happy the past, what like 10 years, being by yourself?" Joey questioned. "You're happy burying yourself in work so you don't have to worry about having relationships with people? You're happy risking your life on a regular basis just so you can come home to _nothing_?! If that's what makes you happy then by all means continue living your life that way, but don't end what you have with Monica just because you're afraid of being too happy." Joey said.

Chandler didn't say anything in return, he just looked down at his barely touched soup and contemplated Joey's words. 

"I have to get back on that case," Joey said as he got up, half of his sandwich in his hand. "I'll see you later," he said and then walked away.

"See ya," Chandler said, still not looking up from his soup. Chandler remained in the cafeteria thinking about what Joey had said for another twenty minutes. Joey was right, Monica made him happy, and that made him afraid. He was so worried that he would lose Monica that he wouldn't allow himself to be happy with her. They had only been together for a couple of hours and already Chandler was freaking out. Chandler sighed as he got up and went to throw his soup out. 'No matter what' he silently swore to himself, 'I will not choke in this relationship.'

A.N---Okay, I know that this series isn't done, but I think I'm gonna give up on it. I had a lot of stuff planned for this whole series, but I'm just gonna assume that you guys don't like it. I really appreciated the positive feedback I got from those of you who did respond, but this is already in its 5'th chapter and so far I barely have ten reviews. So I'm just gonna take your guys' silence as a hint and just kind of back off. So unless people really want me to continue and manage to convince me, this series is no more. Sorry to those of you who did like it, but I'm just so not motivated to continue something that nobody likes. 


	6. The Dinner

A.N----okay, I still think that most people just really don't like this series, but I decided to keep writing it for the people that do like it cause you guys have all been super nice J 

****

*New York, 6 months later*

Chandler and Monica were still going strong, despite the occasional major fight here or there. Chandler had decided against telling Monica about what he really did. He figured it wouldn't do her any good to know, his family had known and it sure as hell hadn't helped them. Monica loved being with Chandler, she was sure that she was in love with him, but had decided against telling him for fear he wouldn't return the sentiment. They had decided to continue living together, they figured it would just be easier that way. It wasn't that Chandler didn't love having Monica around, but her being in the apartment had caused a couple of problems. Only a month into their relationship Monica found one of Chandler's guns and had freaked out. He tried explaining to her that he needed it for protection but she forced him to get rid of it. Chandler hid the rest of his pistols later that week so Monica wouldn't find them. They had also had several spats about him traveling all the time on such short notices, but that too was resolved. Chandler was lucky he was a quick thinker. He felt bad lying all the time, but he refused even thinking about telling her. Chandler wasn't only concerned with her being in danger, but he was suddenly hit with the thought that she would think less of him if she knew what he did. Chandler didn't want the woman he cared for most thinking that he was a monster. 

It was a Friday, and Chandler and Monica were preparing to meet Monica's family for dinner. Chandler was extremely nervous, from what Monica had said about her mother Chandler had deduced that she was over critical. 

"Are you ready?" Chandler asked for about the billionth time it seemed. He was sitting in the living room and wringing his hands nervously.

"Yes, now I am," Monica said, emerging from their bedroom. They had decided it would be stupid for them to keep separate bedrooms, so they just kept Monica's as the guestroom. 

"You look." Chandler started, searching for a word fit to describe her, "gorgeous" he said, finally settling on a word that he felt still didn't fit.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," she said. She loved the way he looked in a good suit. She made her way over to where he was standing and leaned in to give him a kiss which lasted for several minutes. "mmm" Monica said softly pulling back, "we need to get going,"

Chandler groaned in protest, "Why do I need to meet your parents and your brother, I'm not sleeping with them," he said planting soft kisses on her neck.

"No," Monica said with a soft laugh, "but they're important to me and so are you, so it's important that the four of you at least know each other." She said. "C'mon, we'll be late," Monica added grabbing his hand and leading him towards the door.

*****

Chandler and Monica arrived at the restaurant to find that Ross and her parents hadn't arrived yet. Not long after they ordered their drinks Monica spotted them making their way through the crowded restaurant. Both Monica and Chandler stood as they approached the table. Kisses and hugs were quickly exchanged and Monica introduced her parents and her brother to Chandler. It wasn't long before Judy began interrogating Chandler.

"So, Chandler," she began after they had ordered their meals, "tell us, where did you grow up?" she asked.

"I grew up in a suburb just outside the city," Chandler answered honestly. 

"What did your parents do for a living?" she asked, finding his last answer acceptable. 

"Well," Chandler started somewhat panicky, "my father worked in computer technology and my mother was a homemaker," he answered, hoping his answer didn't sound too delayed or fake.

"Well I look forward to meeting them, perhaps we could all get together for dinner some time," Jack offered politely.

"Actually, dad," Monica started, "Chandler's parents live in Europe now, they retired several years ago," she explained for Chandler, hoping he wasn't overwhelmed by her mother's nosy attitude.

"Well, what do you do for a living Chandler?" Judy asked, not giving her husband a chance to show that he was impressed.

"I'm a data processor," Chandler informed, remembering his lie that he told Monica.

"How exciting," Judy replied mundanely, showing that she was unimpressed.

Monica quietly sighed. She gave Chandler a reassuring smile to show that she didn't care whether or not his job was boring. Surprisingly enough, Chandler didn't seem to mind her mother.

"What do you do Ross?" Chandler asked, trying to include Monica's brother in on the conversation so maybe her mother would let up on him. 

Until then Ross had remained quiet, Chandler seemed nice enough and he wasn't really sure why he had been asked to go to dinner with them in the first place. 

"Ross is a paleontologist," Judy answered proudly for her son, "he works at the museum among many other respected scholars," she added, making sure that Chandler would be impressed.

"Wow," Chandler replied not really knowing what to say, it sounded boring to him, "so you study dinosaurs?" Chandler asked, taking a sip of his wine.

"Among other things, yes," Ross answered politely, slightly beaming from his mother's praise.

Monica rolled her eyes, he didn't realize it yet, but Chandler had just unlocked a door. Monica knew that the rest of the night her mother would be devoted to praising Ross. Monica didn't care though, at least she would lay off Chandler. 

Monica was right, the rest of the night was spent devoted to flattering Ross. Chandler didn't mind much but he was running out of responses to all of Ross' accomplishments, you could only say 'wow, no kidding,' so many times without feeling repetitive. 

In the middle of dinner a waiter approached the table, "excuse me, Mr. Bing," he said with a thick French accent.

"Yes, that's me," Chandler answered looking up at the waiter.

"You have a phone call," the waiter said.

"Oh, if you'll excuse me," Chandler said politely standing up. He then followed the waiter to the telephones.

Once she was sure Chandler was out of earshot, Judy began to lay in, "So, Monica," she began, "how much longer do you plan on staying with this one?" Judy asked 

"What?" Monica asked, she knew it was coming as soon as Chandler left the table, but she liked to pretend that her mother would be decent at least once.

"Well, what I mean is, how long do you actually expect this relationship to last?" she asked, laughing slightly at her daughter's confusion.

"I don't know mom, awhile," Monica answered slightly annoyed.

"Well, I think he's a nice young man," Jack said, always trying to lighten the tone.

"Oh no, he's very nice," Judy agreed, "Its just." She started.

"Its just what?" Monica asked playing along with her mother's game.

"Well, it's just, he seems a little boring, a little dry," Judy said.

"Would you rather his father be gay and his mother be some, I don't, exotic romance novelist?" Monica challenged her mother, knowing that she would find a fault in anything Chandler mentioned.

"Of course not dear," Judy laughed, "forget I even said it." She added.

Monica sighed knowing that her mother did not actually expect her to forget it. Monica tried not to let it bug her, she knew that this would happen anyway.

*****

Meanwhile, Chandler followed the waiter to the phone, "thanks," Chandler said as the waiter handed him their phone. "hello?" he said into the receiver.

"Chandler," Joey said. "how come you haven't been answering your cell?" he questioned.

"Oh, I turned it off," Chandler replied.

"Yeah, well next time just put it on vibrate or something, I've called like twenty restaurants tonight trying to get a hold of you." Joey complained.

"Why what's the matter?" Chandler asked somewhat alarmed.

"We have a problem," Joey stated.

"Who is it?" Chandler asked, already knowing the answer.

"It's the Black Stars," Joey replied, referring to a ring of extremists who had been attempting to sway European politics towards extreme right wing ideals for the past twenty years. Chandler's team had been working on their case for almost a year after information that they were illegally trafficking drugs and guns among other weapons. They were strategically located in five different locations in Europe, five separate sectors for each point on a star. 

"I'll be right there," Chandler replied hanging up the phone. He went back to the table with a troubled mind. "Monica," he said as he reached the table.

"Chandler, what's wrong?" Monica asked, noticing the sudden change in his demeanor. 

"I have to go," Chandler said quickly.

"What?" Monica asked, "what's going on?" 

"I'll have to explain later," Chandler said, not knowing how he would explain it. "Mr. and Mrs. Geller," Chandler said, turning his attention, to Monica's parents, it was a pleasure to meet you, sorry I have to run out like this," Chandler apologized, shaking their hands, "Ross, it was nice meeting you," Chandler added to Ross who also stood to shake his hand. "Monica, I'm so so sorry, but I gotta go," he said, and with that he was gone.

"Well," Judy began after Chandler's abrupt exit, "I have never." She started before Monica interrupted her.

"Mom, don't start," Monica warned, "not now." She added, obviously upset. "I think I'm going to go," Monica said standing up. Her family watched her leave the restaurant and wondered what was going on.


	7. What Monica Heard

A.N. – _Okay, I know it's been a while since I last updated. For those of you that even remember this story, I apologize profusely. I guess you can say I had a prolonged writers block. Not to mention that I decided to write this story at the worst time, leave it to me to be convenient. Anyway, I'm back with this chapter, and not to worry, I have the next one on layaway. So again, to those of you who have read this, I apologize. And if you haven't read it yet, well what are you waiting for? Get to it kids, you have six chapters to catch up on._

You know the drill; I'll never own any of themever.

Monica, confusion and doubt plaguing her mind, left the restaurant. With no explanation for her family, she ran from their confused and worried stares. Once outside she took several frantic glances to her sides, hoping to catch Chandler and question him about his abrupt leave. Doesn't he realize how important this dinner is to me?' she asked herself. After several seconds, however, she gave up her search, deeming it hopeless.

As she made her way to find a cab she heard a familiar voice behind her. She looked, but saw no one. His voice continued from somewhere, hushed and hurried, and it was then Monica saw Chandler in the alley to the side of the restaurant. His head down, a cell phone to his ear, and a cigarette in one hand, Chandler did not notice Monica glaring at him from the sidewalk. Monica watched as Chandler continued speaking into the phone, it was then that she realized he was not speaking English. It was a language that Monica could not recognize, and even if she had known what it was Chandler was speaking too quickly and quietly for her to hear it. Monica also noticed that despite the fact that Chandler was speaking quietly his voice was harsh and callous, unlike his normal carefree tone. Monica watched for several more minutes as Chandler continued his rant to the unknown person on the other end. She felt as if she was watching a different person as Chandler, with his back still turned to her, took several drags from his cigarette as he became more involved in his conversation.

He finally seemed to be ending his heated discussion and Monica became nervous, she was suddenly unsure if she wanted to be there when he turned around. As she moved to make her getaway Chandler shoved his cell phone into his pocket and haphazardly put his cigarette out on the wall as he turned to leave the alley.

"Monica?" Chandler questioned, catching her as she tried to escape being seen. Monica was too late, he had caught her. "Monica, what are you doing here? Were you watching me?" Chandler asked, confused to see his girlfriend there, he thought she would still be in the restaurant with her family.

"Iuh," Monica started, unsure how she should explain herself. She noticed that his voice had transformed back to the one she was familiar with, but the one she had just heard him using still lingered in the back of her mind. It scared her. Wait a minute,' she thought, he's the one who left me in the middle of dinner without an explanation, he should be explaining himself to _me_.' Monica, no longer worried, was now even angrier than she had been to begin with. "What are _you _doing here?!" Monica questioned, unable to mask her frustration. "We were supposed to be having dinner with my family, and instead I find you out here chatting on your cell phone."

"Monica, I" Chandler began, but he didn't know how to finish. He was stuck. What was he supposed to say, Monica, I was having a conversation with an officical from the Russian government warning them of a possible terrorist attack.' He didn't know what to do, she'd laugh if he told her the truth. "Monica, I can't explain it, I'm sorry."

"What? What do you mean you _can't_? You can, you just don't want to. What language were you speaking anyway?" She was becoming more frustrated by the minute, she couldn't understand his unwillingness to tell her what was going on.

Chandler sighed, knowing that he had royally pissed her off. He thought it'd be best to at least answer this question. "Russian," he answered. He looked down, knowing what question would be next.

"Who do you know who speaks Russian? Better yet, how do _you_ know how to speak Russian?" Monica asked, amazed that Chandler knew this language that was completely foreign to her.

"I can't tell you," Chandler managed to get out, knowing that this conversation was going nowhere good.

"You can't tell me?" Monica asked, not being able to believe Chandler's resistance to explain himself to her. "Well then maybe you can tell me what was so important that you felt compelled to get up and leave me in the middle of dinner?" Monica questioned agaian, but again she received the same response as Chandler slowly shook his head. "Well, you can at least tell me when you started smoking," Monica asked quietly, more hurt than angry with Chandler.

"I'm sorry, it's just something I do when I'm nervous or stressed. I didn't mean for you to see me." Chandler tried to explain, he knew Monica hated smoking, she thought of it as a weakness.

"I guess you didn't mean for a lot of things to happen tonight, Chandler." Monica said sadly, holding back the tears brimming on the edge of her eyes. With that she turned around and walked away from Chandler.

"That's just great," Chandler said to himself as he watched Monica hurry away. He felt terrible. He had an overwhelming urge to go after her, to tell her that he was sorry and that he loved her, to tell her all about his job and what he did, but he was too afraid. Chandler laughed at himself, of all things, he had to be afraid of this. Sure, he could stare down the barrel of a gun, no problem; but this, this was something entirely new to Chandler. Ignoring his new and terrifying feelings Chandler pulled out another cigarette and began to make his way to his office. It would be a long night.

__

Okay, that one was short; but I didn't want to post too much if no one was into it anymore. So let me know if you want the next one.


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